A couple weeks ago we had Ward conference in our ward and in Relief Society we had a discussion led by one of the counselors in our Stake Presidency. There was one part of the discussion that I've been thinking about because I know it's something that I need to work on. We were talking about how to teach your children to care more what Heavenly Father thinks than what other people think (you know, to combat peer pressure).
This got me wondering if I can even do this. How many times have I been getting ready to go to church and worried what I looked like? How many times have I been working on a lesson and worried about what people will think of my lesson or whether they'll think I'm an awful boring teacher? I rarely comment in church because I'm sure someone will think I'm dumb for whatever comment/question I voice. I don't want to be this way. I want to be confident and I want to be worried about what Heavenly Father will think, but more often than not it's other people I'm worried about. I'm not sure how to change that.
Now, my title isn't really fair because I know this CAN be done because my husband does it all the time. (I think this is easier for men for some reason) He doesn't care what people think of him as long as he's doing what he feels is right. He says things in talks that he's sure is probably going to offend SOMEONE, but if it's the message he's inspired to give he does it anyway. I don't know how he does it. He can't really explain it other than to say it just doesn't matter to him--not to helpful for me.
So, my question for you is do you care what other people think of you? If so, is it okay to care what other people think as long as you aren't compromising your standards? What things have you done that have helped you to care more what God thinks and less what "people" think?
My only thought on this is that I'm pretty sure we are all so worried about what others think of US that we don't spend too much time thinking about other people and how they do things--but for some reason that doesn't help me much. I can't wait to hear some sage advice from my readers!
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I think it is tricky to find the balance. On the 'what people think of you side' we have been taught a bunch of things that tell us this is important: be an example, take upon yourself the name of Christ (and be his representative in all you do), show others what it means to live the gospel by the way you live, and more.
On the 'only care what Heavenly Father thinks line of thought: we have been taught to have no other Gods before Him (really anything we devote excessive time to could fall under this if we are not careful and clear on our priorities), 'thou shalt love the Lord, thy God with all thy heart, might, mind and strength' (which in part I take to mean Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ come first), and plenty of others.
So for me, I think both are important. Heavenly Father comes first and then representing Him and the Savior well as we do the work they have asked us to do comes second but is still important to Heavenly Father's plan. That doesn't mean I think it matters what someone thinks of my hair (Even thought the natural man in me cares very much that my hair look nice. And here I must interrupt myself to say if my hair hadn't been combed for a week or washed I would not be representing the Savior well. I believe modesty means more than covering up but also includes being moderate in our appearance, looking nice so we represent the Savior well.) but when I bear my testimony I should strive to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost so that what I say is true and edifying to myself and those in the congregation.
I don't know if that long ramble makes a lot of sense but there you have it.
It all comes back to pride. I have recently had my eyes opened about what a huge, all encompassing problem pride is. Basically, if we completely eliminated all pride from ourselves, we would be perfect. You should read Ezra Taft Benson's talk about pride (find it on lds.org), and then just pray for inspiration and knowledge.
Overcoming it is a process, but to answer your question, it can be done! (no, I'm not there yet, but I do have hope).
I really don't care much what other people think of me. I figure I am what I am and the people who like me are the ones I want to be around. I just don't have room for negativity in my life. I think I developed this a lot while living in Mexico. People there pretty much take you at face value and accept you as you are.
That being said, I still get my feelings hurt sometimes and I am sometimes self-conscious. But not often.
P.S. I think you're awesome!
I'm not sure I can say all I'm thinking in a comment - so I'll just say "HI" and you look beautiful!
I struggle with what others think of me. I think it is sometimes helpful to know how your influence, comments and actions look to others. I have done and said things that have upset people, and I am glad to know when I have done so... If I don't know then I cannot correct the behavior and sometimes that is necessary. I am not so worried about appearance, although I do think it is important to be modest, clean and put our best self forward. I agree that we have been taught, to some degree, our appearance is important. It says a lot about who we are as individuals.
All that being said, I cannot imagine you ever saying something to hurt anyone else! You always look amazing! And, I also think it is easier for men! :)
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