Before we were parents to a black child we didn’t really think much about race. It wasn’t really a topic that was necessary in our rather monochromatic state. Since having Liam I am MUCH more aware of race simply because I want to understand how to help my child have the best experience he can in life. We have yet to have any overt racism towards our family, but I know it is pretty likely something will happen at some point in his life. In an effort to avert this happening to my child I hope you will teach your children about race and color and not pretend it doesn’t exist. I don’t want anything like THIS to happen to Liam and I agree with the author of that blog that being colorblind isn’t the answer to racism, but education is. EVERYONE is different somehow. It might be their hair color, skin color, religion, or any number of things, so lets all teach our kids to be kind to those around them instead of being judgmental when someone isn’t just like them. It’ll keep someone’s child somewhere from hearing hurtful comments about their differences no matter what they are.
post edit: If, like in the blog linked above, someone informs you of an instance of YOUR child making rude remarks I hope you will NOT get defensive, but will talk to your child and teach them because likely they just don't understand how their comment could be hurtful. If you choose to get defensive and do nothing then your child will never learn--what a shame that would be.
About Me
- Jen
- Jennifer McDonald considers herself a woman of mystery. Who is this socialite from Spanish Fork, Utah? Mother of three? Wife of one? Conqueror of the laundry and all spilled milk? Would anyone seeing this mild-mannered mom-about-town realize that after giving birth to fraternal twins while still a student in college she would wait nearly ten years before adopting her youngest son? And that today, she can tame the two teenagers' appetites for fashion and Honey Nut Cheerios, while at the same time starting Backyardigans on Netflix for the toddler? Can this biography handle any more questions without bursting at the seams? Probably not, so we move to swift conclusion with this inspiring quote from one of Jennifer's favorite philosophers, "yes, those birds are very angry, aren't they? And nothing calms an angry bird like being shot across the sky at a bunch of laughing pigs."
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4 comments:
Isn't it interesting how not talking about something can be more damaging than talking about it and possibly saying the wrong words. I know there are certain things I don't often discuss with my kids simply because it's hard to find the words but less than perfect words are better than no words. The story you linked to was interesting to me because how often do people stick their head in the sand about something and then get defensive?
I am impressed with your early advocacy efforts. Hopefully you will made a difference in the way some people think and parent. Your post reminds me of several my good friend Lana has written about disabilities. She has a son with down syndrome and severe autism and faces prejudices also. She works hard to be open about information and it has made a difference for some of the people she interacts with (particularly at church) who may have had some prejudices and didn't realize it.
Interesting since I just read this story tonight on the Anti Racist Parent blog. I dread these moments and hope I'm able to handle them well without wringing someone's neck. I think it may be harder for Liam and Jalen than for Baylie.
We never had any negative experiences until Addie entered first grade. We still haven't had many but it has been a real eye opener. Addie and I have discussed this issue a lot and it was addressed by her teacher to the class.
The main issue we had was that a boy in her class told her she shouldn't have white parents if she is black. Addie replied that she was adopted and the kid said, " so what my uncle adopted kids and he adopted white kids cause he is white and that is the way it is supposed to be." This deeply concerned Addie and myself. I knew that a comment like that coming from a 6 year old really came from an adult most likely his parents.
that made my heart hurt! But, like you said, until you were a parent to a black child, it didn't really cross your mind. I'm greatful to have been able to read this, so it will help me to be more aware of things I need to do to teach my kids about differences, and how that's what make each individual SO special.
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