The other night my husband made me promise that when anyone contacts him about his next high school reunion that I won’t make him go because he doesn’t know any of those people anymore. This happened right after my Mom was telling me that her 40th class reunion is coming up and that she is excited to go. At first I chalked it up to my husbands general anti-socialness, but then I was thinking about my own class reunion a few years ago and how I probably won’t go to the next one either because I didn’t really feel like I belonged at the last one.
That got me thinking about the recommended friends on my Facebook page. You know that little place on your page that says “you might know these people”? Well, every once in awhile someone will be on there that I knew well at some point in my life, but most of them are people that I knew their names once upon a time, but didn’t know them well. I don’t know about you, but I’m probably not going to friend them. There are even some people on there that I went to church with or knew a little better than an acquaintance, but I still wouldn’t friend them on Facebook because I don’t think they will know who I am.
My Mom on the other hand would probably Facebook friend request anyone she has known even remotely at any point in her life. She’s looking forward to going to a class reunion with people she hasn’t been friends with or even talked to outside of other reunions in 40 years! I know a few other people like this that just feel comfortable assuming that everyone they have ever met is now their friend. For some reason I’m not like this. Actually, I would probably say I’m the opposite of this since I mostly assume that people just don’t remember me at all unless we were really close friends at some point—and even then it takes me awhile to get the guts to ask them if they remember me.
How do you feel about it? Do you look forward to seeing people you haven’t seen in years even if they weren’t close friends? Do you assume everyone is your friend?
I’m curious if you think this is a personality difference or if you think that it is more of a generational difference—something that has changed over the years with the population in general? Maybe it’s a little of both…
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4 comments:
David and I were having a similar conversation today. I took Baylie to a bounce house. At first she was lonely, but then she just started walking up to girls she didn't know, held their hands and started to follow them and play with them. When one girl would quit playing with her, she'd just go find another girl. I was amazed because I was never like that. When I told David about it, he said, "She's just like your mom." It's so true. My mom makes lifetime friends in the line at the grocery store. I am the opposite. I hated my class reunions except for the 2-3 people I really wanted to see.
At first I started friending everyone. Then I realized that there is a reason why they were in my past and not in my present. I suppose I haven't considered reunions because I have always lived too far away and not been able to make them. Through facebook, I have reconnected in a meaningful way with some people that I never would have otherwise gotten close to. Sharing the ups and downs of their lives gives me something to look forward to. hopefully I'll be in a situation where I can go to the next reunion.
I have no interest in going to a class reunion either. I do like to 'catch up' with certain old friends in spectator fashion by reading their blog or looking at their facebook profile in the comfort of my home without the pressure of making conversation. But even this is an every once in a while interest. I think some people old or young just love people in general and want to socialize all of the time with everyone they meet. Your mom is a very social lady which is fun. But I think being more introspective is just fine too. It takes all kinds to make the world go round as they say.
I missed this blog post, but wow, Jen, you must be reading my mind. I've felt this way for a really long time. We were relatively social people in high school, but that was half our lives ago. I think I've changed more than a little bit since then. There are people I will always want to see when we're in the same vicinity, but I don't need to be friends with everyone I remotely knew in high school simply because we had something in common at one point. I've found that when I get a friend request from someone we went to high school with, someone I haven't spoken to in 18 years, I have to wonder how genuine it is. Did they know I got married? Do I know if they have kids? If they are not someone I'd communicate with outside of facebook, I don't bother with the "friendship."
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