Adoption basics

When we decided adoption was the right path for us to follow I never realized how long the road would be or how many different paths we would have to choose from.  First thing we had to choose what kind of adoption we were interested in.  Did you know there were different kinds?  Well, there is.  Here is a brief rundown of the basic options. 

1. Agency adoption:  This is when you pay an agency to find your birth mom through advertising, match you with her, take care of her through pregnancy, birth and postpartum, take care of the legalities on the birth mom’s end and ultimately place your baby in your arms.   This is one of the more expensive options, but in general it’s pretty fast and effective.  (this is how we ultimately got Liam)

2. Private adoption: This is when you find your own birth mom either through your own advertising or connections and then you use a lawyer to facilitate the adoption. There will still be costs associated with the pregnancy, birth, and counseling of the birth mom, but it is generally much less expensive than an agency adoption assuming that everything goes smoothly.  It is more of a financial risk, because as far as I understand  if the birth mom changes her mind you are out any money that you have paid to help her during her pregnancy. 

3. International adoption:  This is when you adopt a child from another country.  Many agencies do international adoption, but you don’t have to use an agency.  The rules are different for international adoption at least as far as home studies and family requirements go.  Each country has different requirements so make sure to do your research and find out if you qualify.  Some have age requirements, financial requirements, a certain number of years married, health requirements.  It’s pretty specific so do your homework!   In general you can expect to get a child that is toddler age or older, but there are infants available in some countries.  Although in the end it can be as much as an agency adoption, international adoption fees are collected a little bit at a time instead of in one big lump sum so that makes it a little bit easier to fund them. 

4. Waiting children/foster to adopt:  This is when you adopt a child that is in the foster care system.  There are children that are already legally free to adopt and each state usually has some kind of waiting child website where you can get some information about the children that are waiting.  Another way is to be a foster parent and then adopt the child when they  become legally free to adopt.  This is a very inexpensive way to adopt.   

5. Special Needs adoption:  This is when you adopt a child that has special physical, mental, or emotional needs that make them more difficult to place because of the extra care required.  It is less expensive to adopt these children as they often have grants available to help with the cost of adoption.  There are many countries that consider children special needs even if their medical condition is easily treatable here in the US, so keep that in mind. 

Now, there is no one “right” way to adopt--only the way that is right for you.  If you feel pulled toward adoption start doing your homework because within each of these categories there is tons more information and many sub-categories as well.  Also, I’m no expert in any of these so this is my very basic understanding.  Enjoy!